It's true. Sometimes I feel as though the media constantly bombards me with unwanted reminders of the fact that my husband is on the other side of the world, and will be for quite sometime to come.
There's a certain lack of sensitivity that seems to come from those who don't understand what it's like to have a loved one who's deployed, and certainly not from the perspective of someone who's not on the whole patriotic binge like my family is. Even thinking about that little oath that all the sailors have to say instantly brings on the tears, and this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach as it twists and knots on itself. Some days aren't so bad. It doesn't bother me to see things every once in awhile, and I go about my days completely unaffected. Then there are the bad days where a radio commercial for Navy Federal Credit Union is enough to send me into tears. I'm not sure if it's just me, but these always seem to be the days where you just see all these reminders everywhere and it just makes you want to scream. Just me? Yes? No? Either way, it seems that the media has unintentionally somewhat ganged up on me as of late. I don't want to see constant things relating to the military everywhere I look, and yet, that seems to be what is going on as of late.
I think the worst part of it all is that my family isn't very supportive or understanding. My family is in a very opposite camp from where I am on this whole military issue. They're all very much full of national pride and think of this as some great noble mission that my husband has undertaken... and I don't. There's also the issue of my family seeing any kind of sensitivity as weakness, and as I am the most sensitive in the family I am seen as the weakest and just an unnecessary drama queen. It doesn't matter what's going on or what's up with me. I'm expected to just stuff it down and be strong and think the same way that my family does.
So where does that leave me? Well it doesn't really leave me in a very good spot. Thankfully, my husband is very kind and supportive, and understands that I'm sensitive to this and is a very good listener. I know that he doesn't always get it, but he still provides as much understanding as he can and is always patient and kind when it comes to things like this. He might not understand exactly why it's so difficult for me, but he understands that it is and does his best to help make things better for me :) I'm also lucky that I have some great girlfriends who know that I'm a rather sensitive soul and are very kind about that as well.
Hopefully one day it won't be such a big deal to see things so constantly, but until then it seems that I'm just going to be a little more wary of the television and Facebook than usual until my sweetie comes home.
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