When Life Hands You Lemons Sometimes It's Okay to Cry(since you really don't like lemonade)

Hola!

So this week will be expanding a little bit more on my post from last week. As I had said before Cameron and I found an apartment, and we have been approved and are just waiting to sign lease paperwork and we will have a place that is all ours! :) While this has been very exciting it has also been really stressful. There was a mistake in the lease so we have to wait for that to be fixed before we can sign it, we also have to figure out renter's insurance, as well as signing up the utilities, and then we also have to start thinking about how we want to rework our monthly budget since we will now have additional expenses that we haven't had in the past. There's also getting together things that we need for the apartment, figuring out what we have and what we don't, making sure that we all agree on everything that we have... it's just alot, and while it's all good stuff it's still alot to handle.

I'm also going back to school this week, and am totally overwhelmed with that. I'm taking the final quarter of a year long general chemistry class, and I have a final project at the end of the quarter(the week before my husband comes home and my little brother graduates from high school and the week my oldest cousin graduates from high school) as well as a cumulative year long final that is a standardized test written by the American Chemical Society. My father in law is also selling his house and I have to get all my husband's stuff packed and ready to go into storage, and sell some furniture that he has that we no longer want(a massive sectional couch does not work well in an apartment sadly). Oh I also found out today that I don't have dental insurance and that needs to get taken care of, I need to find a new dentist, and about twelve other things all right at the end of this stupid deployment. There's only a couple months left and it seems that every time I turn around I have more things being thrown at me. The whole issue of Cameron wanting to reenlist is still up in the air too, and that is another huge source of stress emotionally.

The point is that right now life is throwing me a ton of lemons and asking me to juggle them all and then somehow make lemonade out of all of them, and you know what? I really don't like lemonade and I sure as hell don't know how to juggle. So what am I doing right now? I'm crying. Okay, not really, and this is all a metaphor, but there just seem to come times in every deployment where you're by yourself without any help, and all these things are being thrown at you left and right and it sucks. It really, truly does. I would love it if I lived in a world where Cameron was home and could help me with so much stuff. I would have been so happy to hand him a list of chores today and asked if he could get them done at some point. The hardest part is knowing that he would have been more than happy to take care of things for me if it meant helping me and giving me a few more things checked off on my to-do list today. My husband is very sweet and loving like that, and that's what makes it so gosh darn hard sometimes. I know I should have help, and someone to help ease the load as it's continually piled on with the challenges of everyday life, but right now, today, I don't and it's hard. It's hard, and it hurts, and it sucks, and Lord bless my husband for listening to me whine quite a bit for the past couple days and doing as much as he possibly can to help me from halfway across the world. But for now it's the least fun ever, and that's really okay. Right now, today, I don't need to take all these lemons and turn them into lemonade. Right now, today, I can whine and cry a little bit about how overwhelmed I feel and have my moment to process everything that's going on tomorrow. Right now, today, I'm at the point in deployment where I'm crying because I'm surrounded by lemons and I really, really dislike lemonade and I can't seem to make all these damn lemons go away, and that's okay for now. I'll still dislike lemonade tomorrow, but hopefully I can at least get a start on getting all these stupid lemons to go away :)

Apartment Hunting Update Plus Life Update

Hello!

So my life has been really upside down lately so things did not go up yesterday as I had hoped, but instead are going up today! Yay!
The first thing that happened was my mom unexpectedly lost a good friend on Friday last week. We found out Saturday morning that she had passed, and then learned on Sunday that she had committed suicide :/ It was a huge, completely 100% unexpected shock that really threw us all for a loop. Also, my father in law is selling his house where my husband is currently storing all of his stuff so I got to go deal with figuring that out and getting everything all packed and ready to go so we can move it into storage and then eventually move it down to California. That's another thing that got finalized today! Cam and I found an apartment! We are both super super excited about it, and we're both ready to FINALLY have him come home and get started on our life together and start getting things worked out as far as that goes :)
Unfortunately today my life was once again turned on it's ear, and now even my husband coming home is not a very happy occasion. So in talking to my husband today he has expressed a desire to reenlist in the Navy. Now to most people this isn't a big deal, but for me this pretty much destroyed my hopes and dreams for the future. I have been planning to go to Western Washington University for quite some time now. I went and took a tour of the campus and got some questions answered, and I absolutely fell in love with the campus. It's a large enough university that there are some good opportunities for me, but still small enough that it's not as bad as University of Washington in terms of size(which has it's own district in Seattle... Not kidding!) and it's also an R2 university as opposed to an R1 which was something else I really liked. The plan was for me to finish up my community college degree which I'm almost done with, move to California for a year, and then both of us move back to Washington for me to go to Western after that. Now that's all up in the air and I'm really upset about it :/ Um I think that's all I can really handle talking about for now. Right now with all that's gone on in less than a week I'm kind of freaking out and not really having a very fun time at all :/ Hopefully things will get better soon, but until then this is the life that I'm living, and at the moment it really, really sucks.

Apartment Hunting! A Brief Update

Hola! So we should hopefully getting back to a little bit more of a schedule here soon. My world has finally stopped being absolutely crazy, so I should hopefully have a little bit more time to sit down and write some really good posts :) I was in San Diego this weekend with my dad doing some apartment hunting, and unfortunately the place I was staying at had really crappy WIFI so I wasn't able to write while I was there since I could hardly get on the internet. Apparently taking my laptop was just extra weight and one more thing to unload whilst getting through security. Lame! But, the good news is that we're pretty sure that we've found the apartment that we want to rent :) There are a couple more things we need to figure out and ask some questions about, but I think we've found the place we want :)
Next week I'll write more about it, but for now I think I need to hit the hay and head to bed. Talk to you soon! :)

The Joys and Nerves of Homecoming

Your spouse coming home from deployment is supposed to be this wonderful, fantastic, amazing thing. There's this big fanfare and this big to do about how amazing it is that they're finally home after being gone for so long and all this stuff... but what if it isn't that way? Right now I have extremely mixed feelings about my husband coming home. I feel like I should be excited, and instead I'm just incredibly nervous and unsure. It's almost like I feel like I don't know who's coming home which is a very strange feeling.
I've spoken to my husband nearly every single day since he's been gone, so it's no like we're completely out of touch, but still... I feel like I don't really know him anymore. It's a very strange thing, and very difficult to explain.

On the one hand, I am so excited that he's finally coming home. I'm excited for getting our own apartment, for decorating together, for shopping for housewares, for cuddling, for tickle fights, and pizza and movie dates, and going on real dates, and doing everything that we haven't gotten to do for the past six months now. I am so excited that I'll be able to actually call my husband again. I'm excited that I'll be able to have a legitimate conversation in real time and not need Facebook or Skype or something else in order to facilitate the conversation.

On the other hand, I'm absolutely terrified of pretty much everything that's going on with all of this homecoming nonsense.So I found out my little brother graduates the day after my husband comes home so I don't get to be there when he actually gets back into port(we live in separate states as I am still going to school near the area where we're both from while my husband is deployed) :/ I could go, but I also really don't want to miss my little brother's graduation that day so we've decided that I'll be headed down to see him the week after he comes home. I also have to get an apartment ready so he has somewhere to come home to, and it's just alot to deal with all at once. We've ordered furniture, his dad is selling his house which is currently where we're storing all our stuff so I have to move all of that, and I have to buy everything for a dwelling... and I'm doing this all while working and going to school completely on my own :/ It's really strange and awkward and scary and very overwhelming. This weekend my dad and I are headed down to San Diego to do some apartment hunting in the hopes that I can find something and get it set up and ready to go by the time Cameron gets home, and I'm just super overwhelmed with all of this. Dealing with feeling like you're re-meeting someone that you should know while also trying to set up an entire life with them is just really weird, and it's an awkward thing to try to explain and to feel in general. Hopefully with time things will get better, but for now it's just weird and slightly uncomfortable. My husband is taking a class on how to reintegrate into family life... Yep. That's the strangeness that is homecoming from deployment.

End of the Quarter Exhaustion

Hi everyone!

Apologies for no post last week. I've been super, super busy as of late, and I am experiencing the end of quarter burn out that every college student experiences around this time. I've also been working a lot and not really getting any true days off so when I'm not working I have school that day and then it becomes a day where I still have stuff to do and am super busy all day. In addition to all that(why yes, there is more!) I'm getting ready to go out of town with my dad next week to head to San Diego so my lovely husband doesn't have a cardboard box to come home to! Apparently that plan is not nearly good enough for him haha(please read with extreme sarcasm. I would never let him live in a cardboard box :) ) I've also done a furniture order and all kinds of other stuff that I'll hopefully talk about soon, but for now I just really need to focus on the other aspects of my life.
I didn't go to my class today because I was so tired that I was overly emotional(I *might* have cried because my cat wouldn't come sleep on my bed with me last night...) and it just wasn't going to happen, and I honestly felt sick because I was so tired and I still do. I've had an annoying headache all day, and while I've been drinking a ton of water so I know I'm not dehydrated, it's still there and I think it's just sheer exhaustion.

As far as plans to get back on track go I'm hoping that I'll have a blog post up next Tuesday, March 17th :) I will for sure be up and running again by the 24th, but I'm pretty sure I can make the 17th happen :) Just this week and next to go and I'm off to San Diego for a much needed break! :) Talk to you all soon! :)

The Housing Dilemma: A Guide to Communicating With Your Spouse

So. Cameron and I have new territory that we must cross together. We have to get, and furnish, an apartment together. Talk about an, "Oh holy crow I am married!!!" moment. Now for the challenge. Cameron lives in San Diego and I live in Seattle, WA. Whaaaaaa?! Cameron and I married about a month before he deployed out for nearly a year. Guess who didn't move to San Diego to be alone for the next year? Yep, this girl right here(which my sweet hubby totally encouraged might I add). Well now my sweetie is coming home here somewhat soonish, and I have to get an apartment in San Diego... while I'm still going to school and living my life up here in Seattle. Yep. Guess who's now a long distance apartment hunter? This girl right here! And I'm still in school and working 20 hours a week :D I live a charmed life haha.
At the moment I'm living at home with my parents, because let's face it, I'm hardly ever home so it seems really silly to pay for an apartment when I'll hardly ever be in it. Before Cameron went into the Navy he was living with his dad(who lives like ten minutes away from me... crazy!) so neither one of us has much in the way of housewares. I now have to find, and furnish an entire apartment in another state while going to school and working and trying to communicate with my husband while he's somewhere on the other side of the world-ish. God help me I could just cry.
Luckily for me, though, I have an amazing husband who is just the best person I could ever ask for when it comes to being my teammate in this world, and he has been just the greatest blessing throughout this whole process. After over a year and a half of long distance we've gotten communication down pretty well, and this has certainly tested how well we are able to communicate with each other, and we've done a pretty darn good job if I do say so myself. So without further adieu, here is my guide to navigating the transition back home with your active duty military spouse.

First things first, if you don't know how this all works, the military is pretty straight forward in the housing department. They either give you a place to stay or they give you money so you can have a place to stay. That's pretty much the jist of it. Since Cameron and I are married we're given a Basic Housing Allowing(typically referred to as BAH) which is money for us to get a place to stay. Before we got married Cameron was living in the barracks, but since we have BAH and I can't stay in the barracks with him we're now looking at getting a place to stay.
This is where it gets a little tricky. So you can either look into civilian housing or you can look into military housing which can be on or off base depending on where you go. Now the one downside to military housing is that they'll take all of your BAH in most cases. There are a select few communities that don't, but almost all of them(at least in San Diego anyway) do. Civilian housing is just getting a typical apartment wherever you'd like. Personally, Cameron and I have decided to go with this option simply because it's going to be just the two of us, and when we can get an apartment for less than our BAH and have that extra money to spend on other living expenses it makes more sense for us to do that. If you have a family and need more space military housing is a great opportunity to get a good sized living space for a good deal. It really just depends on what you need for your specific situation, but from my experience that seems to be how this whole thing works.

So then comes all the moving stuff. Whee. First things first would be to scout around for sales on furniture. I've made friends with a couple gals in the furniture department at the retailer where I work, and it has served me well as I now know about an awesome deal coming up in the first part of March where I can get pretty much all the large furniture that I need(bed frame, mattress/box spring, dining room table and chairs, and couch) for about $3500 and have 36 month interest free financing to be able to pay that off if I get the store credit card which also gives me $100 in rewards with my purchase that I can then use elsewhere in the store for other housewares :D Can you say score?! :) Hello, cheap Calphalon pan set :D

Second, would be to actually scout out apartments. Talk to your spouse about what you both want in an apartment. What area would you like to live in? How much do you want to spend on rent? Are there any amenities you want? What about square footage? What's the absolute max you're willing to spend on rent? When do you want to move in? I've actually sent my husband links to apartment listings and told him, "here's what I like. Take a look, and tell me what you think. If we both like it I'll go check it out". So far he hasn't really responded, but he's working on it which I appreciate :) Also, take someone with you when you go to look at places. Chances are most spouses are women(although I have a friend who's a military husband so no judgment) and women typically aren't taken very seriously, unfortunately(I know from experience). For example, my daddy's going with me to San Diego over a weekend to scout things out and help me figure out what I like and what I don't and help be my muscle so to speak. You can take a parent, a good friend, whoever you'd like. Remember there's power in numbers, and it also helps to have second person there so you don't feel so lonely and overwhelmed whilst shopping around.

Lastly, coordinate with your spouse when you want to move in. Do you want to wait until they're there or do you want to just do it yourself? Who's name is going on the lease? Will you need a power of attorney to sign for them on said lease? How does the rental office feel about working and being flexible with a military couple? Would they be okay if you had to potentially change the move in date due to new information?

These are just some of the things to think about and to talk to your spouse or significant other about. It's a challenge when you can't talk specifics, but you can make it work. You can talk about x number of days from a point only you know: 10 days after Suzy's birthday or 12 days before our anniversary or 3 days after that time I accidentally flung that hot dog at you or something like that. Think of it as using a reference point only you know and that no one else does. It's a challenge figuring out anything to do with coming home from deployment when you don't have specifics to hang your hat on, but you can do it. Thousands of couples have done this before you and made it work. Hopefully that is at least somewhat comforting in showing that it is in fact possible :)


If anyone has questions on how to navigate homecoming please feel free to leave a comment or fill out the contact sheet or email me! I'd be happy to do what I can to help! :) 

Update: The Honeybear is Coming Home!!! :D

Hola! So this is a super quick post, but I forgot to share something that's super super exciting!!! :D So. This year I got pretty much the best Valentine's day present ever. On Valentine's Day I got an email from Cameron saying that they had released tiger cruise dates!
If you don't know what tiger cruise is it's an opportunity for family members(spouses/significant others are not eligible so I can't go which is totally fine with me because I hate boats haha. Seriously I won't even get on the ferry by myself. I'm really not too bummed about this haha) and friends to go to wherever the final port call is before home, and they can ride on the ship back into the home port. What's so significant about them releasing tiger cruise dates is that means that we know, for sure, exactly what day they'll all be home from deployment!!!! :D I can't even begin to express my excitement and terror over this! I'll go more in depth with another blog post later, but for now I just wanted to share that I do 100% for sure know exactly when my honeybear is coming home!!!! :D Omg, I'm so excited I can't even haha :) So now we get to deal with the stress of that and moving and all that joyous stuff which I realize that I haven't talked about at all sooooo that'll have to come later haha.
So that's all for this quick update! I apologize that it's late, but I've had a super super busy week so I haven't really had a chance when I've been thinking about it to type up a post :) See you guys on Tuesday for our regularly scheduled posting! :)