Your spouse coming home from deployment is supposed to be this wonderful, fantastic, amazing thing. There's this big fanfare and this big to do about how amazing it is that they're finally home after being gone for so long and all this stuff... but what if it isn't that way? Right now I have extremely mixed feelings about my husband coming home. I feel like I should be excited, and instead I'm just incredibly nervous and unsure. It's almost like I feel like I don't know who's coming home which is a very strange feeling.
I've spoken to my husband nearly every single day since he's been gone, so it's no like we're completely out of touch, but still... I feel like I don't really know him anymore. It's a very strange thing, and very difficult to explain.
On the one hand, I am so excited that he's finally coming home. I'm excited for getting our own apartment, for decorating together, for shopping for housewares, for cuddling, for tickle fights, and pizza and movie dates, and going on real dates, and doing everything that we haven't gotten to do for the past six months now. I am so excited that I'll be able to actually call my husband again. I'm excited that I'll be able to have a legitimate conversation in real time and not need Facebook or Skype or something else in order to facilitate the conversation.
On the other hand, I'm absolutely terrified of pretty much everything that's going on with all of this homecoming nonsense.So I found out my little brother graduates the day after my husband comes home so I don't get to be there when he actually gets back into port(we live in separate states as I am still going to school near the area where we're both from while my husband is deployed) :/ I could go, but I also really don't want to miss my little brother's graduation that day so we've decided that I'll be headed down to see him the week after he comes home. I also have to get an apartment ready so he has somewhere to come home to, and it's just alot to deal with all at once. We've ordered furniture, his dad is selling his house which is currently where we're storing all our stuff so I have to move all of that, and I have to buy everything for a dwelling... and I'm doing this all while working and going to school completely on my own :/ It's really strange and awkward and scary and very overwhelming. This weekend my dad and I are headed down to San Diego to do some apartment hunting in the hopes that I can find something and get it set up and ready to go by the time Cameron gets home, and I'm just super overwhelmed with all of this. Dealing with feeling like you're re-meeting someone that you should know while also trying to set up an entire life with them is just really weird, and it's an awkward thing to try to explain and to feel in general. Hopefully with time things will get better, but for now it's just weird and slightly uncomfortable. My husband is taking a class on how to reintegrate into family life... Yep. That's the strangeness that is homecoming from deployment.
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