Wedding Planning Blues

Hola!

So today I've been really sad for most of the day. Part of this I think is because it's very warm here in Washington today for the first time all year(we were up in the mid 70's to low 80's which is nuts for late April), and the other part is that I've been tired all day. But I think the biggest thing has been that I've really been missing Cameron today. Planning a wedding is supposed to be fun, and for the most part it has been(our cake topper gets here tomorrow and I am ridiculously excited about it. It's a Willow Tree cake topper and we both absolutely love it), but pretty soon Cameron will be on underway for five weeks and when he's gone it will be just me to handle all the planning. We've done all the planning together thus far, and doing it on my own and not having Cameron to call or text when I get things done and tell him what's going on is going to be really tough.

Another tough part of this is the fact that we both really are lacking the ability to pay for everything right now. Like coming up with a thousand dollars is a challenge, and truthfully we only need about another $1500 to book the important things for our wedding, and then we should be able to cash-flow everything else(like decorations which besides a photographer and equipment to rent out is the only thing that we have left to pay for), but for now we can't come up with that money. We're looking into options that we have to help make everything work, but as of right now it's not working out and that's incredibly depressing. The final blow came today as we found out that the loan we had requested with the bank to pay for our honeymoon was denied. We had hoped to have me come down to San Diego for a month to spend time with Cameron before he had to go on deployment, but as of right now that just isn't an option because we can't pay for it. I don't have the $4500 that we need to pay for a house to rent down there unless I decide to completely empty my savings account, and I can't do that. So. Yeah. Wedding planning has not been at all what I thought it would be. I knew there would be stress, and I knew that there would be problems. I never expected smooth sailing. I just didn't think the road would be this rocky. All I want to do is have a small, intimate wedding with my fiance and get to spend some good quality time with him before he leaves for a year. That's all that I wanted. And now everything is in limbo, and it's a terrible place to be in. Lord I hope that we will be able to make everything work soon. Please. I just want it to work.

Ah soooo much updating!

Oy. Vey. It has been forever since I've posted anything here, but I've been super busy and I kind of forgot about all of this stuff until like just now. SO. Cameron is no longer in Pensacola and is now stationed on San Diego on the USS Carl Vincent. My last trip to Pensacola was absolutely awful. I really wish that I hadn't taken it in all seriousness. It was that bad. Cameron ended up working the entire time that I was there so my whole trip was me being by myself which was not fun. And then on top of that if you've ever been to Pensacola then you know that there is NOTHING TO DO!!!! OMG it is ridiculous! I'm used to Seattle where there's a TON of stuff to do, and there's always places to drive to and things to do and all that, so this was a major adjustment for me and I did not enjoy it at all. And then Cameron and I ended up coming home at the same time(he had leave between commands), and the second day that we were home Cameron decided it was time for a health scare. So we got home really really early Friday morning(like 2am). Cameron stayed the night with me at my house for convenience since we had carpooled home together, and then the next day we drove to Port Orchard and hung out with his mom and sister and picked up his car(which mama had been borrowing since her van had died and she needed a car to drive while she looked for a new one), and then headed home. Saturday morning Cameron's mom came up to spend time with him while I headed home to get ready for work. About an hour before work I got a call from Cameron's mom saying that he had passed out at the mall in the bathroom. I called out from work and met him at home feeling like a very concerned fiancee. He looked awful(which did not help the feelings of concern), but we gave him some fluids and got him to bed since all he wanted to do was sleep. About an hour later he woke up and was sick with a vengeance(side note: I cleaned everything up because I am a good fiancee) and instantly passed back out in the bathtub(he decided to take a bath cuz he'd gotten sick all over himself poor thing) while I was cleaning up. I checked in on him regularly then got him out of the tub and dressed, and it was right back to bed. I had a horrible feeling that something was really wrong so I called my mom who said he was having concussion symptoms and we needed to get him to the hospital right away to get looked at. So Cameron's dad and I roused him out of bed, helped him down a flight of stairs, and then he passed out again. Catching a 200lb man when you're only 110lbs is not fun at all in case you were wondering. So I got to call the paramedics who concluded that he was concussive, and took him over to Providence Hospital where we spent 5 hours in the ER with a boy who ended up having a mild concussion and was also dehydrated from throwing up earlier. So that was fun, because Cameron didn't feel better until the following Thursday, and then left the Sunday after so I got only a couple good days with my fiance in two weeks of being together :/. Le poo. The kicker was finding out that we could have had him take his E4 test at the naval base in Everett which would have allowed him to stay longer.... So yeah. That was great.
Another development is that Cameron is now leaving for a 9 month deployment at the end of August which cancelled our wedding date for next year soooo now we are getting married this summer! Ahh! I'm excited, but at the same time extremely terrified. There's so much to do and while alot is done(thank the lord!), there's still a lot to do so this is going to be very interesting. Anyway that's a basic update. There's so much more that has happened, but I think for now that that's going to be it. I'll post a more recent/indepth update soon!