When Life Hands You Lemons Sometimes It's Okay to Cry(since you really don't like lemonade)

Hola!

So this week will be expanding a little bit more on my post from last week. As I had said before Cameron and I found an apartment, and we have been approved and are just waiting to sign lease paperwork and we will have a place that is all ours! :) While this has been very exciting it has also been really stressful. There was a mistake in the lease so we have to wait for that to be fixed before we can sign it, we also have to figure out renter's insurance, as well as signing up the utilities, and then we also have to start thinking about how we want to rework our monthly budget since we will now have additional expenses that we haven't had in the past. There's also getting together things that we need for the apartment, figuring out what we have and what we don't, making sure that we all agree on everything that we have... it's just alot, and while it's all good stuff it's still alot to handle.

I'm also going back to school this week, and am totally overwhelmed with that. I'm taking the final quarter of a year long general chemistry class, and I have a final project at the end of the quarter(the week before my husband comes home and my little brother graduates from high school and the week my oldest cousin graduates from high school) as well as a cumulative year long final that is a standardized test written by the American Chemical Society. My father in law is also selling his house and I have to get all my husband's stuff packed and ready to go into storage, and sell some furniture that he has that we no longer want(a massive sectional couch does not work well in an apartment sadly). Oh I also found out today that I don't have dental insurance and that needs to get taken care of, I need to find a new dentist, and about twelve other things all right at the end of this stupid deployment. There's only a couple months left and it seems that every time I turn around I have more things being thrown at me. The whole issue of Cameron wanting to reenlist is still up in the air too, and that is another huge source of stress emotionally.

The point is that right now life is throwing me a ton of lemons and asking me to juggle them all and then somehow make lemonade out of all of them, and you know what? I really don't like lemonade and I sure as hell don't know how to juggle. So what am I doing right now? I'm crying. Okay, not really, and this is all a metaphor, but there just seem to come times in every deployment where you're by yourself without any help, and all these things are being thrown at you left and right and it sucks. It really, truly does. I would love it if I lived in a world where Cameron was home and could help me with so much stuff. I would have been so happy to hand him a list of chores today and asked if he could get them done at some point. The hardest part is knowing that he would have been more than happy to take care of things for me if it meant helping me and giving me a few more things checked off on my to-do list today. My husband is very sweet and loving like that, and that's what makes it so gosh darn hard sometimes. I know I should have help, and someone to help ease the load as it's continually piled on with the challenges of everyday life, but right now, today, I don't and it's hard. It's hard, and it hurts, and it sucks, and Lord bless my husband for listening to me whine quite a bit for the past couple days and doing as much as he possibly can to help me from halfway across the world. But for now it's the least fun ever, and that's really okay. Right now, today, I don't need to take all these lemons and turn them into lemonade. Right now, today, I can whine and cry a little bit about how overwhelmed I feel and have my moment to process everything that's going on tomorrow. Right now, today, I'm at the point in deployment where I'm crying because I'm surrounded by lemons and I really, really dislike lemonade and I can't seem to make all these damn lemons go away, and that's okay for now. I'll still dislike lemonade tomorrow, but hopefully I can at least get a start on getting all these stupid lemons to go away :)

Apartment Hunting Update Plus Life Update

Hello!

So my life has been really upside down lately so things did not go up yesterday as I had hoped, but instead are going up today! Yay!
The first thing that happened was my mom unexpectedly lost a good friend on Friday last week. We found out Saturday morning that she had passed, and then learned on Sunday that she had committed suicide :/ It was a huge, completely 100% unexpected shock that really threw us all for a loop. Also, my father in law is selling his house where my husband is currently storing all of his stuff so I got to go deal with figuring that out and getting everything all packed and ready to go so we can move it into storage and then eventually move it down to California. That's another thing that got finalized today! Cam and I found an apartment! We are both super super excited about it, and we're both ready to FINALLY have him come home and get started on our life together and start getting things worked out as far as that goes :)
Unfortunately today my life was once again turned on it's ear, and now even my husband coming home is not a very happy occasion. So in talking to my husband today he has expressed a desire to reenlist in the Navy. Now to most people this isn't a big deal, but for me this pretty much destroyed my hopes and dreams for the future. I have been planning to go to Western Washington University for quite some time now. I went and took a tour of the campus and got some questions answered, and I absolutely fell in love with the campus. It's a large enough university that there are some good opportunities for me, but still small enough that it's not as bad as University of Washington in terms of size(which has it's own district in Seattle... Not kidding!) and it's also an R2 university as opposed to an R1 which was something else I really liked. The plan was for me to finish up my community college degree which I'm almost done with, move to California for a year, and then both of us move back to Washington for me to go to Western after that. Now that's all up in the air and I'm really upset about it :/ Um I think that's all I can really handle talking about for now. Right now with all that's gone on in less than a week I'm kind of freaking out and not really having a very fun time at all :/ Hopefully things will get better soon, but until then this is the life that I'm living, and at the moment it really, really sucks.